how menopause unleashed My Hidden ADHD

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My Hidden ADHD

About Fifteen years ago, at a Diva Toolbox convention I sat in the audience as a speaker discussed late-life ADHD. I remember chuckling inwardly, dismissing the idea outright. ADHD? That’s a childhood thing, right? Not something that hits grown women out of nowhere.

Fast-forward , and the joke is on me. I went from being the ultimate multitasker—juggling work, family, and everything in between like a pro—to barely holding focus on one task at a time. I’d get irritated with my husband for not being able to handle a phone call with his mom while listening to me chime in with “tell her this” or “ask about that.” He’d hang up without relaying the message, and I’d think, How hard is it? Now, here I am, turning down the car radio just to concentrate on driving. Sound familiar?

If you’re a woman in midlife experiencing a sudden shift in focus, motivation, or emotional regulation, you might be at the intersection of ADHD and menopause—a connection that’s gaining recognition but still surprises many.

The Hormonal Plot Twist Nobody Warns You About

Here’s the science, minus the boredom: Estrogen helps regulate dopamine — the brain chemical that keeps ADHD folks focused and motivated. When estrogen takes a nosedive in perimenopause/menopause, dopamine dips too. Result? Symptoms that were quietly manageable (or totally hidden) suddenly scream for attention.

Surveys of thousands of women with ADHD show:

94% say symptoms got worse during menopause.
Over half say midlife was when ADHD hit hardest — not their 20s or 30s.
Top complaints: brain fog so thick you forget your own phone number, emotional rollercoasters, and the death of multitasking superpowers.

And yes, many of us — diagnosed or not — only connect the dots in our 40s or 50s because girlhood ADHD looks like daydreaming and people-pleasing, not classroom chaos.

My New Reality in Bullet-Point Comedy

Used to run five mental tabs at once. Now one open browser crashes the system.
Keys? Phone? Dignity? All missing on a rotating schedule.
Get overwhelmed choosing a Netflix show — forget deciding anything important.
Apologize to my husband for every eye-roll I gave him during those mom-calls. (Karma’s real.)

What Actually Helps (Because We’re Not Doomed)

Diagnosis (or Self-Awareness): If you’re like me and still waiting for that official label, reading reputable sources and talking to under-standing doctors is a great start.
Meds: Many women find relief with ADHD meds or HRT — worth discussing with a professional.
Life Hacks: Exercise, sleep, less alcohol, more protein. Tiny routines over grand overhauls.
Humor: Laugh at the absurdity. It’s cheaper than therapy (but therapy’s good too).

Final Thought

I used to laugh at the idea of “late-life ADHD.” Now I’m living it — undiagnosed but finally making sense of the chaos. If you’re turning down the radio to think straight, forgetting why you walked into rooms, or wondering where your superpower went — you’re not broken. You’re just hitting a plot twist a lot of us never saw coming.

And hey, at least we’re in good company.

And I guess I owe an apology to Linda from ADDiva Network (Linda Roggli’s site for women over 40 with ADHD): https://addiva.net/ Turns out she wasn’t selling snake oil. She was 100% right — and menopause was the uninvited guest who flipped the switch

Sources & Further Reading

This article is based on my personal experiences combined with insights from reputable sources on ADHD in women and its overlap with menopause/perimenopause. Key references include:

ADDitude Magazine Surveys on Menopause and ADHD: Multiple surveys (including data from over 1,500–5,000 women) show that ADHD symptoms often worsen during hormonal shifts, with high rates of brain fog, overwhelm, and emotional changes.
https://www.additudemag.com/menopause-symptoms-adhd-survey/
https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-menopause-women-research/
https://www.additudemag.com/menopause-hormones-adhd-women-research/
ADDiva Network (Linda Roggli): A community founded for women over 40 with ADHD, highlighting late diagnoses and midlife challenges (this is likely the inspiration for the conference I attended years ago).
https://addiva.net/
The Estrogen-Dopamine Connection: Explanations of how dropping estrogen levels affect dopamine, focus, and ADHD symptoms.
https://www.additudemag.com/menopause-hormones-adhd-women-research/
https://chadd.org/adhd-weekly/changing-estrogen-levels-affect-womens-adhd-symptoms-part-three/
CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder): Articles on hormones, menopause, and ADHD in women.
https://chadd.org/adhd-weekly/changing-estrogen-levels-affect-womens-adhd-symptoms-part-three/
https://chadd.org/attention-article/does-menopause-cause-adhd/
Recent Research (2025 Studies): Emerging studies on ADHD symptoms and menopausal experiences.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10870547251355006 (Examining the Link Between ADHD Symptoms and Menopausal Experiences)
https://www.additudemag.com/perimenopausal-symptoms-women-adhd/ (Perimenopausal symptoms in women with ADHD)