What EVERY Woman Over 35 Needs to Hear
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What Every Woman Over 35 Needs to Hear: My Perimenopause Journey From Confusion to Clarity
No one really tells you this—but somewhere around your mid-30s, your body can start changing in ways that don’t come with a handbook. And the hardest part? Not every doctor is fully up to date on what those changes actually mean.
Sometimes that gap looks like a male doctor who’s never lived in a female body. Sometimes it’s a younger female doctor who hasn’t gone through it yet. And sometimes it’s simply outdated education around perimenopause and menopause.
Before I go any further, I need you to hear this clearly:
You are not crazy. You are not alone. You know your body.
The Symptoms I Couldn’t Ignore
Looking back, my symptoms started around age 35—long before I had language for what was happening. It began quietly: weight gain and hair thinning. I chalked both up to stress. Then came brain fog, which I lovingly blamed on my “Squirrel ADD.” Life was busy. I was tired. It felt easier to explain everything away than question it.
But the symptoms didn’t stop there. Vaginal dryness, sleep issues, waking up hot at night like my internal thermostat had gone rogue. I’ve always been a sleep person—I need a lot of it—so these restless nights were slowly wearing me down.
When I finally asked my gynecologist—a woman much younger than me—about menopause and my symptoms, she asked two questions that stopped me cold:
- “How did your grandmother and mother handle menopause?”
- “What age did your grandmother and mother go through it?”
WHAT.
No two bodies experience this journey the same way. But instead of pushing back, I did what so many of us do: I learned to live with the symptoms. I accepted them as my new normal.
When “Normal” Turned Into Hell
In April 2022, I decided to get an IUD. I was exhausted from extremely heavy menstrual cycles, intense cramping, and blood clots. I had also noticed that my vaginal symptoms became significantly worse for about a week after every cycle.
The good news? My cycles disappeared. The bad news? Everything else got worse.
Within weeks, the itching started—so intense I was convinced I had a yeast infection. I went in for testing in May, then again in July, hoping for a diagnosis that could be fixed with antibiotics. Both tests came back normal.
My doctor prescribed topical estrogen. The first time I used it, the burning was so intense I had to stop immediately. I felt defeated. Confused. Broken.
I went another year in pain, pain that could bring me to tears. And yet, I still had to function, smile, and pretend everything was fine.
The Small Relief That Gave Me Hope
Then, in a rare moment of luck, a social media post appeared for a product called Silky Peach by Parlor Games. Skeptical, I read the comments—were these people real? Paid? Would it actually work?
Desperation lowered my guard. I took a leap of faith. Worst case, it wouldn’t work.
It didn’t cure my issues—but it gave relief, enough that I could breathe again. Enough that my body didn’t feel like it was on fire. Emotionally, the gratitude was overwhelming.
The Appointment That Changed Everything
The turning point came when two people in my life—a friend and a coworker—introduced me to Dr. Mary Claire Haver, a menopause advocate and physician. My coworker, who shares the same gynecologist as me, said:
“Did you know there’s a provider at our practice who specializes in menopause?”
Cue the sunbeams. The WHAT?!
The time had finally come: the day I’d been waiting for, for years. Will I get answers… or leave with more questions? My heart raced, nerves tangled with excitement. I quietly prayed for a miracle.
Facing My Fears About HRT
So now I’m face to face with the menopause specialist. I had a long list of questions, and I grilled her—not in a mean way, but in a way that probably made her think, This lady has been down the rabbit hole too long… or maybe she was just impressed I was prepared.
She was incredible. Caring. She listened to every symptom: weight gain, hair loss, brain fog, vaginal dryness, itching, sleep problems, night sweats, and not to forget my newest symptom—extreme irritability. She reassured me that she was here to help and addressed all my fears about HRT.
I walked out of that appointment with a prescription for the estradiol patch, excited to see where this next journey would take me. Because her schedule was tight, we set up a follow-up call. During the call, I explained that my symptoms had improved by about 80%, but I was still struggling with itching, sleep issues, and night sweats. She adjusted my dose, and a month later, when I was still experiencing a few lingering symptoms, she added progestogen.
Am I afraid of potential risks? No. I feel confident because I follow doctors who prioritize safety and efficacy in menopause care. Plus, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recently removed misleading FDA warnings on HRT. And with advocates like Dr. Mary Claire Haver and Dr. Kelly Casperson fighting for women every day, I know we are in good hands.
Advice for Women on the Same Journey
I know many women feel afraid—and that’s okay. Every decision must be right for your body. I am so grateful to the two friends who led me to Dr. Haver and Dr. Casperson.
I encourage you to:
- Follow these incredible advocates
- Read the HHS publication on hormone replacement therapy
- Educate yourself
- Make a list of questions
- Speak with your doctor to make informed decisions
Whether it’s HRT, supplements, lifestyle changes, or simply understanding what’s happening to your body—you deserve clarity, care, and the knowledge that you are not alone.
Your Journey, Your Power
Menopause is personal. Your journey is unique. My hope is that my story shows you that being heard, finding answers, and choosing what’s right for your body is possible. You can go from confusion to clarity—just like I did.
Until next time, I invite you to explore more stories, tips, and support in our Thyme & Healing space—because every woman deserves a place to feel seen, understood, and empowered.
